I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
