I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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