So drunk its hurt
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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