thus making me awesome and them whores
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dignity is for republicans.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
