Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
