if you like me you must not know who I am
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
