i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize