the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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