And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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