The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
