So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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