God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I need a burrito and a hug.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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