Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize