You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
