ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
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you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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