I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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