Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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