ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
