whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
