who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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