Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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