the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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