Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
