The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
