Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
