Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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