Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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