Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
