ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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