you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
