walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
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