I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
