just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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