were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"