Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
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well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.