she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
