He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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