I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
