question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
