Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize