This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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