Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
did i just pee glitter
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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