You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize