Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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