Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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