Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize