some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
