ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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