Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
