Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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