Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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