sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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