Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize