her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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