I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
