Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
