Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
