I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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