called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
