I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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