you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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