This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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