doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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